Jokes

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says "This is great! Will I meet her at a party or what?" "No," says the psychic, "next term in her biology lesson."

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There's two fish in a tank, one says to the other "Do you know how to drive this?"

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A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He waddled to the nearest phone to call the AA. His car was quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the car. The penguin, being a good natured bird, didn't complain but wandered off to find the closest supermarket. He proceeded to the frozen foods section and hung out near the fish sticks. After an hour he got in the freezer next to the vanilla ice cream and ate several gallons. Then he saw the time and went back to the garage covered in ice cream. The mechanic walked over to him wiping his hands and shaking his head saying "It looks like you blew a seal." Blushing, the penguin said "Oh, no! It's just ice cream."

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Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. Bob buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. "My new pet elephant" Bill replies solemly.

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A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

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A fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten too much though and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do now, he spotted a pitchfork leaning up against the wall. He climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off, thinking that once he got airborne, he would be able to take flight. Unfortunately he was wrong and dropped like a rock, splatting when he hit the floor.

The moral to the story is: Never fly off the handle when you're full of shit.

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A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much?" the customer asks. The owner says "It knows how to use a computer." The customer asks about the next parrot and is told "That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system." Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told "That one costs 2,000 dollars." Needless to say this begs the question "What can it do?!" The owner replies "To be honest I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!"

Birds in Nepal

Nepal has a total of 900 speciesof birds, of which 2 are endemic, 1 has been introduced by humans, 74 are rare or accidental and 32 species are globally threatened. The birds found in Nepal are mainly classified into two types:


Non-passerines: Grebes, Pelicans, Cormorants, Darters, Bitterns/ Herons and Egrets, Storks, Ibises and Spoonbills, Flamingos, Ducks/ Geese and Swans, Osprey/ Hawks, Kites and Eagles, Caracaras and Falcons, Pheasants and Partridges, Buttonquails, Cranes, Rails/ Crakes/ Gallinules/ and Coots, Bustards, Jacanas, Painted snipe, Oystercatchers, Ibisbill, Avocets and Stilts, Thick-knees, Pratincoles and Coursers, Plovers and Lapwings, Sandpipers and allies, Gulls, Terns, Skimmers, Sandgrouse, Pigeons and Doves, Parrots/ Macaws and allies, Cuckoos and Anis, Barn owls, Typical owls, Nightjars, Swifts, Treeswifts, Trogons and Quetzals, Kingfishers, Bee-eaters, Typical Rollers, Hoopoes, Hornbills, Barbets, Honeyguides, Woodpeckers and allies .

Passerines: Broadbills, Pittas, Larks, Swallows and Martins, Wagtails and Pipits, Cuckoo-shrikes, Bulbuls, Kinglets, Leafbirds, Ioras, Waxwings, Dippers, Wrens, Accentors, Thrushes and allies, Cisticolas and allies, Old World warblers, Old World flycatchers, Fantails, Monarch flycatchers, Babblers, Parrotbills, Long-tailed tits, Chickadees and Titmice, Nuthatches, Wallcreeper, Treecreepers, Penduline tits, Sunbirds and Spiderhunters, Flowerpeckers, White-eyes, Old World Orioles, Fairy-bluebirds, Shrikes, Helmetshrikes, Drongos, Woodswallows, Crows/ Jays/ Ravens and Magpies, Starlings, Weavers and allies, Waxbills and allies, Buntings/ Sparrows/ Seedeaters and allies/ Siskins/ Crossbills and allies, Sparrows.

Narayangopal

When people think or talk about Nepali music, the name most associated is that of Narayan Gopal, the most popular and prominent singer in classical Nepali music.

Narayan Gopal was born to a Newar family in Kathmandu in 1996 Bikram Sambat (BS). His father was a classical musician and wanted his son to follow his footsteps. Narayan Gopal was interested in music from an early age but not exactly into classical field. He studied music in India.Narayan Gopal married his long time fan from Darjeeling, Pemala Lama. They did not have any children. The late Gopal Yonjon and Narayan Gopal were good friends and "mits".(It's a nepali custom where good friends enter into a kind of a lasting friendship. This is generally seen as strengthening the friendship bond.) Narayan Gopal has sung many beautiful and soulful songs composed by Gopal Yonjon. He was also an accomplished music composer in his own right. Not only was he gifted with a great voice, he was very versatile. His voice range allowed him to sing songs of every genre. He has sung over 500 songs, including in films, ballets and drama. Most of his songs are melodies. It is said that he was very selective about which songs he sang. Although 500 songs is not a lot for some of his caliber, they are outstanding in some ways—be it the lyrical depth or superb rendition. In recognition of his contribution in the field of Nepali music, he has received several national honors and awards, Trishakti Patta, Chinnalata Puraskar to name a few. His songs are often richly orchestrated with the sitar, harmonium and the flute. Some of his most popular songs include "Euta Manche Ko Maya le Kati)"(trans. For the Love of One Person), "Jhareko Paat Jhai"(Like a Fallen Leaf), etc. Even more than a decade after his death, his songs are equally liked, loved and sung.His legacy lives on. Current sensation, Ram Krishna Dhakal, a very popular singer, sang Narayan Gopal's songs and modelled his singing style after him when starting his career. Ram Krishna Dhakal's recent Nepali Swadesh Geet Bihani Pakha Surya Le Bhanchha Sagarmatha Lai has been a great hit all over the world and is heard by Nepalese worldwide. The music is by Nhyoo Bajracharya and Lyrics by Prem Guragain, Itahara, Morang. The songs sung by him are as follows:

Album:Geeti Yatra Vol 1 (Released on 2044-10-10)

Yeuta manchheko, Malai chhodi mero chhaya, Saunko jhari bani, Yetidherai maya diee, Aajabholi harek sanjha, Kehi mitho batagara, Timilai maa ke bhanu, Yo samjhine maan chha.
Geeti Shradanjali (Released on 2049-03-02)

Timile Pani, Joon Phool Rojhen, Yo Bhagyle Kasto, Sandhai Nai Ma Hanse, Nachhod Mera He, Sero Phero, Duita Phool Deuralima, Ishwor Tainle Rachera, Tyo Desh Bhitra Tyo Sano, Bihan Bhai Batasle, Aajai Yeuban, Shrada Ko Phool.
Preyashi Ka Yaadharu (Released on 2054-02-16)

Euta Manchheko Maya, Yo Samjhene Man Chha, Yeti Dherai Maya Diee, Pokhiyera Ghamko Ghulka, Aankha Chhopi Narou, Biratako Chino, Preyasika Yaadharu, Mandirma Chhaki, Malai Chhodi Mero Chhayan, Parkhi Basen Aaulabhani, Saunko Jhari Bani, Aajabholi Harek Sanjha.

Bir Hospital

Bir Hospital is the oldest and one of the busiest hospitals in Nepal. It was established in July 1889 by Bir Samsher Janga Bahadur Rana. It is located at the center of Kathmandu city. The hospital is run by the National Academy of Medical Sciences, a government agency since 2003.
The hospital provides high quality medical and surgical treatments to people from all across the country. Many patients from the rural areas come to this hospital to get free treatment. It current has a capacity of 458 beds. Some of the county's top doctors work in this hospital.Every year it produces qualified efficient and well trained post graduates in different subjects of clinical medicine e.g. general surgery, internal medicine, orthopaedic surgery, pathology etc. It has become an Internship centre for students who had passed MBBS from China and Russia and other parts of the world. Hundreds of nurses of different levels get nursing training in this hospital.

Facilities:

Nephrology

Nephrology service in Nepal started at Bir Hospital. Though over 40 kidney biopsies are done every year, due to lack of well trained manpower in the field of renal histopathology, glomerular diseases cannot be easily diagnosed with accuracy. Hence, training a renal histopathologist and a histopathology technician is found to be the most important task for the hospital in order to provide accurate service to the patients.

Disaster Response

The hospital has one of the best disaster response team in the country. Vast majority of disaster and mass casualty victims are treated either free or with minimal charges. Disaster situations faced mostly are from natural causes or road traffic accidents. The hospital's disaster management plan was used first in 1988 following a stampede incident in the national stadium in Kathmandu.

Surgery

Being the oldest department of the country, the surgery department has different units as General surgery, Gastro and hepatobiliary surgery unit, Burn and Plastic surgery Unit, Urosurgery, Cardiothoracic, Neurosurgery. The general surgery department performs about 3,000 elective and emergency operations each year, and similar number of minor general surgical cases.

Burn and Plastic surgery Unit

Burn and Plastic surgery unit has 16 beds, including 3 burn ICU beds. Every year more than 100 severely burned patients used to be admitted in this unit. It is providing both life savings and corrective surgery for burn patients. The unit is currently run by two general surgeons.

Dental department

Dental department started its new unit of orthodontics and dentofacial orthopedics since 2009 with the cost about one forth than that of other clinics and hospitals.

Funding

The yearly budget of NRs 27 Crore (About US$ 4.1 million), two third of which is funded by the government. The hospital has been facing financial difficulties for many years now. The lack of adequate funding is the major problem faced by this hospital.Despite the rising costs at other hospitals, it has not hiked its fees. To help in the financing of the hospital expenses, it runs a medical school, which conducts post-graduate medical, surgical and other specialists training and also runs bachelor's level in nursing.

Nepali Musical Instruments

Sarangi

The Sarangi(Nepali: सारङ्गी) is a folk Nepalese string instrument. Traditionally, in Nepal, Sarangi was only played by people of Gandarva or Gaine cast, who sings narrative tales and folk song. However, in present days, its widely used and played by many. It is made up of single piece of wood having a neck and hollowed out body. It is carved out from a very light wood, locally known as Khiro. The body is carved into a hollow frame with two openings. The lower opening is then covered up with dried sheep-skin. The original strings were made out of sheep intestine. The village people allotted intestines of sheep, sacrificed during major festivals like Dasain, to the Gandarvas. The Gandarvas left the intestine in a pot for some days. Once the meat was fully rotten, it was pulled out, leaving behind the fine nerves of the intestine which were then woven to get the strings, which produced fine quality sound. However these days, readily available nylon and steel strings are more popular with Sarangi players as they do not have the time to prepare the traditional variety of strings. Sarangi has four strings and played with the help of a bow. Horse-tail hair was originally used for the bow string of the Sarangi but these days nylon strings are common. The strings are supported by two bridges and tuned by Kunti (tuner). The Sarangi’s neck is fretless and the bridge is seated on a skin stretched over the body of the instrument. Different notes are made by touching the strings with the nail of fingers of the left hand.

Damaha

The damaha is the kettledrum that gives its name to the Damai caste. It is a large, unpitched kettledrum made of copper with a head of bullock (goru) hide. Damaha are made by coppersmiths blacksmiths of the middle hills. To forge a damaha requires about 4 kilos of raw copper, which is melted and then forged into a bowl shape by two or three smiths working together with heavy hammers. The heads are usually made and attached to the bodies by members of the Badi or Sarki occupational castes of tanners. Tanning the skin for the heads requires soaking it in water with several types of herbs for two to three days, and then curing with herbs, turmeric and oil. As the heads must be wet when played, a small hole is made in the bottom of the copper body to facilitate wetting the inside of the damaha head. A base ring of layers of hide is attached around this hole, and the damaha is inverted onto the head, which is then attached with strips of hide in a straight-lacing or v-lacing pattern. When the head is attached, a shoulder strap is added, and the damaha is complete. The damaha is unique because it is made of copper, a sacred metal, and has a higher ritual significance than the other instruments of the Panchai Baja. For this reason, says Tingey of the damaha making tradition in Gorkha, a puja must be performed for the damaha right when it is made. This puja is required for both kettledrums, the damaha and the nagara, because when lacing the head onto the copper body, the feet are used to support the instrument. Touching the instrument with one's feet is considered an insult to the deity for which the instrument will be played, so a puja must be performed in apology. Tingey suggests that though the dolakhi is also laced using the feet for support, it does not require a puja because it is less ritually significant. The way that the damaha is played varies from region to region. In central Nepal, it is played with one large stick (gajo), though in ritual contexts it is played with two sticks, as a nagara.

Karna Das

Karna Das is considered one of the best Classic Nepali singers living and performing today. Das was born on 24 November 1974. Das completed his high school education in 1993 and studied one year of Economics in college, which is the only formal education he ever received. Yet Das has been able to compose and sing well praised masterpieces like Purano Dunga and Aadha Sapana.

Awards and Achievements
2054 B.S.
Machhapuchre Music
Best Band, Best Vocal, and Best Lyrics
for song Jindagi ko ke Bharosa

1997
Carlsberg Music
Best Vocal & Best Lyrics
for song Jindagi ko ke Bharosa

2055 B.S.
Hit FM Music
Record of the Year
for song Jindagi ko ke bharosha

2055 B.S.
Hit FM Music
Best Performance by Group
for song Jindagi ko ke bharosha

2056 B.S.
Hit FM Music
Best Performance by Group
for song Anaoutho byetha bhyecha

2002
Sanmiguel Music
Best Male Vocal (pop)
for song Eklo raat

2058 B.S.
Hit FM Music
Best Vocal Performance (modern)
for song Byerthai feri

2059 B.S.
Hit FM Music
Best Vocal Performance (modern)
for song janmida Eklai

2003 (2059 B.S)
Machhapuchre FM
Best Male Vocal Performance
for song Soonsaan Raat

2003 (2059 B.S.)
Machhapuchre FM
Best Song of the Year
song Bistarai chayo

2003 (2060 B.S.)
NEPAL JCI ( Jaycees)
Youth of the Year
in Arts

2003 (2060 B.S.)
Boston College of London
Longtime Outstanding Nepalese Singer
International recognition

2060 B.S.
Hit FM
Best Vocal Performance (modern)
for song Timro mero sambandha ko

2060 B.S.
Hit FM
Record of the Year
for song Thula Thula mahal hoina

2004
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Best Vocal Performance

2005
Chinnalata Music
Melodious Voice of the Year

2006
Image
Best Vocal Performance

King Birendra

Late King Birendra was born at the Narayanhity Royal Palace in Kathmandu as the eldest son of the then Crown Prince Mahendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev and his wife Crown Princess Indra Rajya Laxmi. The first Nepalese monarch to receive a formal education, Birendra spent eight years studying at St Joseph's College a Jesuit school in Darjeeling, India. On 13 March 1955 his grandfather King Tribhuvan died, his father Mahendra succeeded to the Nepalese throne and he became the Crown Prince of Nepal.In 1959 he enrolled at Eton College inThe United Kingdom. After studying at Eton until 1964 he returned to Nepal where he began to explore the country by travelling incognito to remote parts of the country where he lived on whatever was available in the villages and monasteries.He later completed his education by spending some time at the University of Tokyo before studying political theory at Harvard University from 1967 to 1968. He had visited Canada, Latin America, Africa and a number of Asian countries at his youth. He was also an art collector and supporter of Nepalese crafts people and artists. He also learnt to fly helicopters.Birendra was married to Aishwarya Rajya Laxmi Devi Rana on 27 February 1970. The wedding which was billed as one of the most lavish Hindu nuptial ceremonies in history cost $9.5 million to stage. Birendra and Aishwaraya had three children.
Prince Dipendra (27 June 1971 – 1 June 2001)
Princess Shruti (15 October 1976 – 1 June 2001)
Prince Nirajan (6 November 1977–1 June 2001)

Nepal's stability was threatened even more when Birendra and most of his family (including Queen Aiswarya) were massacred at a royal dinner on 1 June 2001. However published reports from eyewitnesses and the results of an investigation carried by a two man committee made up of the Chief of the Supreme Court Keshav Prasad Upadhaya and the speaker of the House of Representatives Taranath Ranabhat, confirmed his eldest son and heir, Dipendra, was the gunman. There is some speculation that Gyanendra was behind a conspiracy and is supported by the interpretations of eye-witnesses of this massacre. Birendra's brother, Gyanendra, then became King.